Home to me is being surrounded by the people who know me intimately, understand all my corks, jokes, thoughts & who I truly am. It’s an environment that makes me feel safe to cry, laugh, make mistakes, fail, learn, celebrate victories, try new things & be myself. Home is a place of love, comfort, safety, trust, respect, care, joy, warmth & familiarity. It’s also a place I spend most my days whether that’s in my bed, living room or kitchen, or outside surrounded by the beauty of Oregon (shout out to OR!!), at Church or in town at my favorite restaurants & stores!
Wow, home is a great place to be! Actually my favorite place! I’m a woman who LOVES home. I love being with my family 24/7 & the coziness of my very own home. When God called me to the Race, I was so worried about homesickness. I’m the girl who would go home early from slumber parties because I missed my family. Seriously, every party has a pooper & I was most definitely that pooper at every party. Committing to the Race was a huge stretch for me in that way but I knew if God called me to it, He would see me through it!
For as long as I can remember, I always viewed homesickness as a negative thing in my life & felt ashamed of it. Why have I been cursed with this feeling that can only be cured by fleeing the situation to go back to the comforts of my own home? Like I said before, homesickness was fear of mine & was at the top of my cons list of going on the World Race. I knew getting homesick on the Race was bound to happen, but physically fleeing the situation to take away the feeling wasn’t as easy as when I was a child, & it scared me. I continued to be ashamed that this was something I was struggling with, even after I committed to the Race. I would cover up this worry with, “ehh, it’s only nine months, it’ll go by so fast”, as if it was nothing. This reassurance only lasted a little while before I truly realized how crazy what I’m doing actually is. Nine months! Nine months away from everything I have ever known, straight out of high school & about to embark into a completely new journey & cultures with people I barely knew. When I really thought about it, homesickness seemed completely normal for this circumstance & I realized it’s something I had no control over.
Even though I came to this realization, I was still wanting to find a cure for it because honestly, it’s the worst feeling! There had to be something I could do that would take it away or at least make it easier. While at home I remember being told, “God will give you strength” or “He will always be with you” & all the norm’s but I was still in disbelief since it hadn’t worked before. I knew He would see me through it since He got me into it but I didn’t know how.
In the last week, God has made a grand entrance & opened my heart to truly see who He is to me & made me realized something I should have understood from the beginning. He is the cure I was searching for! It was right in front of me but my disbelief made it so I was unable to see it & actually experience who He so badly wanted to be to me. He wants to be my home away from home!! He taught me that when I am homesick I can flee to His arms where I will find true & everlasting comfort & peace. My definition of Home is also who God is to me. I am constantly surrounded by God who knows me intimately, understands all my corks, jokes, thoughts & who I truly am. He is with me when I cry, laugh, make mistakes, fail, learn, celebrate victories & try new things. He is a God of love, peace, joy, hope, intentionality & power. He is comforting, faithful, caring, encouraging & so much more! He also is the center of the places I spend most my days & the reason those places make me feel at home. God is with me 24/7, so no matter where I am, I will always be home because He is my home. This doesn’t mean I won’t ever be homesick, but that when I am, I know where I can go to feel at home.
“Home is where I am” – God
Please continue to pray that I would continue to depend on God for strength, joy, peace & comfort when times are hard! Thank you! Love you all!!!
Stay tuned <3
