Worship has a whole new meaning for me. It’s no longer defined as singing words I read off a screen. Liking the song because of the tune. Or just simply singing because that’s what you do during worship time. God revealed Himself to me countless times at training camp during worship. He made me realize it is so much more. I’ve finally found my place in worship & it’s truly a wonderful thing.
Most of my time during worship at training camp, I spent it allowing the enemy to tear me down with lies about myself. These lies went something like:
“Mackenzie, look around, everyone is worshiping better than you.”
“You don’t have a good relationship with God.”
“You’re not worshiping good enough.”
To say the least I was struggling being around new people who worshiped differently than I was used to & comparing myself to them. Part of me wanted what they had. I was struggling to connect with God or feeling His presence while I stood there reading the words off the screen in a somewhat nice tune. Allowing these lies to enter my head created this disconnect & I was dreading worship.
Fast forward to Day 9 of training camp. My squad & I just finished up saying “Yes” to the Race and committing to serving the Lord & one another. Then we worshiped together as a squad outside under a covering. By this time of camp the lies had settled but were still lingering. I had gotten used to the different styles of worship around me & I was able to worship the way I knew how. If you didn’t know, when it rains in Georgia, it absolutely down pours!!! I say this because as I stood there worshiping it began to pour & better yet, it began to rain harder than it had all week! More than half my squad ran out into the rain to praise Jesus & continued to worship. I couldn’t help but watch the people in the rain & the pure joy they were experiencing. Before I could join in on the fun, I was stopped by the negative thoughts that re-entered my mind. I allowed satan to use this moment to discourage me when it could have been immediate joy. I felt stuck. I wanted to join them but I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t worshiping good enough & I felt like I wasn’t connecting to God at that moment of worship. In the middle of me tearing myself down, God spoke to me. I felt His presence surround me & Him say, “Mackenzie, stop worrying. Come out in the rain. Put down your camera and join me.” It was so clear & so simple, yet held so much meaning to me. I put down my camera & ran out into the rain. I was instantly soaked, not only by the rain but by God’s perfect peace, love & pure joy! All my cares & worries went away and for the first time that week it was just me & God.
God also used the rain to speak to my entire squad! Rain is often used as a symbol as the Holy Spirit. We stood in the rain as God poured His “Yes” back on us and reminded us of His commitment & promises to us as we begin this new journey! (& maaaybe God’s way of saying, “You guys stink!”)
Wow, God is so Powerful!
God taught me so much just in that short moment, (including that bucket showers don’t do justice!!). And that it’s not about how other people worship or if we worship the same. It’s not about always having a connection or feelings during worship.
It’s about worshiping the way YOU best connect with the Father. It’s about using the lyrics as a prayer & to give thanks. It’s about truly believing what you’re singing & not just reading what’s on the screen with no intention.
Worship is a time to praise a God who is sooo worthy of our praise!!
I’m so thankful that someone captured this picture so I have it as a reminder of this special moment.
